All because someone was willing to share her story

They say that 1 in 8 couples fall into the infertility category but it seems like I have unknowingly surrounded myself with a higher ratio of couples who are battling this diagnosis.

– Of my core group of college friends (4 of us): 1 has endometriosis and got pregnant a few months after being off BCP, 1 has been diagnosed with unexplained and is pursuing treatment, 1 has not started trying for children and then there is me. 3 out of 4

– Out of my close group of friends here (again 4 of us): 1 has PCOS and does not have children, 1 conceived naturally after trying for a year and half, 1 has children, and then there is me. 3 out of 4

– Out of my close friends that I taught with at my last school: 1 has PCOS and is undergoing treatment, 1 has PCOS but is not pursuing treatment and 1 had repeat pregnancy loss

Apparently I need a warning symbol for people who meet me to let them know that if they want to have children naturally, they are running a risk being friends with me 😉

The sad thing is that I’m sure there were other friends with infertility but it is not something that is talked about often or at least not until the pregnancy gets to a certain point. Thankfully my friend with RPL slowly shared a little of her story with me over the years and when we reconnected a few months ago, she had the perfect words for me without even knowing that we were struggling with infertility. She has talked about wanting to change careers to nursing to be able to help women going through infertility and RPL My brain screamed “Tell her” but my mouth would not get the words out. We gave hugs and said our good-byes.

Every day after that conversation I had a nagging feeling that I need to call her and finally after some time passed, I picked up the phone and made that call. I told her that she didn’t have to go back to school to be a nurse but that she could find another position at an office to provide support and help to women going through this….that it was more important that she knew the words to say. I then spent time telling her our story and shedding tears through it. Tears of relief of being able to share my story and not feel like less of a woman and that telling her was a safe place and she would know what to say.

She told me that she would add me to her Wednesday prayer list because she prayed for the needs of the women in her life on Wednesdays. I loved that idea and started doing it myself. Then a few short weeks later I reached out to the women on Instagram to see if they would like to participate. I have been absolutely humbled by the prayer requests and praises and I have loved seeing the TTC community come together each week to pray for each other’s needs on Wednesdays…all started because one woman was willing to share her story.

I’d love to have you join us. If you’re interested, follow my Instagram account and please comment on the post that looks like the below:

TTC Sister Updates

I post it every Tuesday and then post the list on Wednesdays. My account is private to respect the privacy of the ladies that have private accounts and share their prayer requests for the group. If you do not want to post your information, please email me at Bloomsinthebreeze@gmail.com or DM me on Instagram – I’d love to pray for you.

Two weeks, Three holidays

Two weeks – I knew it had been awhile since my last post but I did not realize it had been so long. I had started a post about rugs – thrilling right? 😉 I’ll have to finish that one later.

I’d like to say the delay in posting was because of an intense travel schedule with work and busy weekends – which is true – but it is also because I did not want to think about the approaching Mother’s Day and deciding our next steps. The big “knock on the door” came when our fertility clinic has called about 10 days ahead of the holiday to check-in because we said that we wanted to cycle this summer. I appreciate all they do and the attention they give, but was caught off guard by the fact that if we want a mid to late summer transfer, I’d have to start meds in the coming weeks. I realized I had about a week to figure out if there was a chance at having a hail mary cycle – it was now and I’d find out just a few days before Mother’s Day. Unfortunately it was not meant to be.


Three holidays
– This Mother’s Day marked the 3rd time the holiday has come and gone since we started trying to have a baby. In that time we’ve had 4 treatment cycles and countless regular cycles that did not work.

Each year comes another series of articles on whether women who do not have children are selfish or do not understand unconditional love or some other notion. But so few speak to the quiet struggle of infertility, adoption, being a step-parent, etc and how it can be handled in a public forum. This article really spoke to me – as a woman who lost her mom at 4, it is hard to struggle with infertility because it feels like both ends of the stick are short, for lack of a better phrase. I am thankful for supportive friends and even more thankful for an icredible MIL. She is truly a blessing and I cherish the girl days we have.

imageThe hydrangeas are in honor of my mom. 

So here is to the next 364 days…I pray that you will find peace and joy in the next year through each of your own journey’s.

National Infertility Awareness Week 2015

Today marks the start of 2015’s National Infertility Awareness Week. This week was founded by Resolve, the National Infertility Association that tirelessly advocates and raises awareness on topic of infertility. It’s an area of medicine that the general public does not know much about because it’s one that is rarely discussed in an open forum. Quite frankly, while I always had a gut feeling that it would be difficult to get pregnant, I was blissfully unaware of how common this issue is and how many hurdles there are for those who are trying to have a baby.

The theme for this year’s awareness week is “You Are Not Alone”. It was part of the inspiration to finally begin speaking about our struggles. My husband and I have tried to have a baby for a little over 2 years. After a year, I made an appointment with a specialist and all of the standard tests came back normal. You never realize how much you do not want to be described as ‘normal’ – because if everything was how it’s supposed to be, then why had we not had any success?

Fast forward a month and I made the decision to have a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy. It was during this surgery that the doctor found a uterine septate and Stage 2-3 endometriosis. Surprisingly enough it was a relief to have a ‘reason’. Other symptons that I was never able to tie to anything started to make sense, especially the exhaustion when I was doing everything right – getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. My doctor estimated that the endo would grow back within 6 months and that was the best window to try on our own. Eleven months later we still have not had the joy of a positive pregnancy test. We’ve grieved, struggled cried, and tried to buy time with staying busy, although it was always in the back of our minds.

The last two months have been a breakthrough per se. I cannot say exactly what happened but know that with a lot of prayer and soul searching, we are in a better place? Do we have the end result we want? No. But we are taking this time to enjoy each day. I’m hoping that blogging about our journey will help me process my thoughts as we decide where to go from here. And while the data says that 1 in 8 women struggle with infertility, I wonder if it is more common or if it’s just happen chance that I know quite a few women who are walking this journey. I believe these women are in my life for a reason and I am so thankful for the wisdom and support. I hope that they will share their story on here someday in hopes that we all know – we are not alone.