Hope and Insanity

Quick weekend recap…

Friday – Transfer Day

I woke up before my alarm and enjoyed the quiet time with the sun peeping through the blinds as long as I could. The next hour was spent showering, changing into one of the my standard non-work outfits (Merona v-neck, skinny jeans, and sandals), and packing my “transfer day bag” (Merona Bag can be found at Target).Merona Bag
In the bag I had:
– Mendhi coloring book, colored pencils to help pass the time (my appt was for 10:30 but they asked that I get to the office 30 minutes prior)
– Thank You cards
– PIO and Heparin injection needs (my acupuncturist gave me my injections since hubby had to be out of the house too early and we wanted to make sure I had a solid nights sleep)
– Warm, fuzzy socks
– Bottle of water
– Chapstick and wallet

My first stop of the morning was to see my acupuncturist. I had a quick treatment and then headed to the RE’s office. My husband got there a few minutes after I did and we headed back so I could change into the gown. They give you a blanket to cover up your backside but I still laugh at this – I mean how much modesty do you really have left? I gave one of the thank you cards to my favorite nurse and we both teared up – happy tears only though! We were quickly taken into ‘the room’ and the transfer went really smooth. We were able to get a few pictures too πŸ™‚

Following the transfer, we went back to my acupuncturist. My husband had never been to one of the appointments and wanted to see what it was all about. She played “Don’t Worry Be Happy” for us and then we spent some time just praying. After the 2nd treatment, I headed home and started the modified bed rest.

Saturday – 1dp5dt

I spent the early morning watching The Replacements and flipping channels between various HGTV shows and USA movies. However, there is only so much TV screen time I can take so the books I downloaded on the iPad and the adult coloring books were a lifesaver when it came to the afternoon.

image

This is also the point when you start noticing every twinge, cramp, tightening, nauseousness, etc and wonder if it is a sign. It makes you feel insane. A friend and I laughed about this because as much as you tell yourself to not do this, it’s where your mind goes. I was surprised but focusing on the coloring did help to reign in my mind.

Sunday – 2dp5ft

Our RE gave us the go ahead for me to be able to leave the house to go to church this morning which was a nice break from the bedrest. It was not a typical Sunday and we had a guest speaker – a woman came and spoke about her trials and faith. She was the victim of a vicious attack that resulted in a month long non-induced coma, years in and out of the hospital, and many surgeries including the amputation of both of her legs and skin grafts because over 2/3 of her body was badly burned. She said that she remembers that she was not sure if she would get through to the next _____ (fill in the blank with the milestone she needed to reach), but that she and her family prayed consistently. They prayed not only for the big things but also the very small – praying for each skin cell to grow so she could have her next skin graft surgery. She relied on hope – not the “I hope I have a good day at work” kind but the hope to make it to the next surgery and the hope to live.Β It was such an incredible message to hear and was a perfect segway into our lesson for our bible study group on keeping the faith in good times and in bad. After church, we came home and I have spent the rest of the day in bed, finishing my book and starting a new mandala.

As I lay here writing this post, my view is below:

image

There are no filters here. This is what my stomach looks like – bruised from the heparin injections. The large one on the right is almost a week old and looks infinitely better than it did 2 days ago. I promise it looks much worse than it feels. I hesitated to share this but I do not want to put a filter on this process – this is what infertility looks like.

With a lot of hope and faith (and I’m sure a little bit of insanity and more bruising), I’ll get through the TWW. Here’s to that positive πŸ™‚

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